Lost, Found or Stolen
Found dog. Reward to rightful owner. Tim 405-671-5955
Found dog. Reward to rightful owner. Tim 405-671-5955
i lost my tempo
deasr friends i m from Ahmednagar India, i have lost my tempo mh 16 b 2335. if u have any info regarding same pl cont me on 9819495002 yours faithful kawaljeet chhabra
deasr friends i m from Ahmednagar India, i have lost my tempo mh 16 b 2335. if u have any info regarding same pl cont me on 9819495002 yours faithful kawaljeet chhabra
Stolen, full set of adult dentures. Taken out of my car on Elmhurst Lane. Whoever took my teeth please return them if they are of no value to you. Emory Douglas. 757-397-8781
Lost set of keys at the Maverick Lounge on or about October 20 2008'. I didn't know it was a gay bar until I was too drunk to care. Tom. 212-371-7734
Lost set of keys at the Maverick Lounge on or about October 20 2008'. I didn't know it was a gay bar until I was too drunk to care. Tom. 212-371-7734
Most Everything For Sale
Do it Yourself Hemorrhoid Surgery Kit. Slightly used. Includes 10 page color instruction manual and step by step audio cassettes. $150 O.B.O. These sell for upwards of than $600 but tape 4 was eaten in my crappy tape deck so I am selling this kit for a discount. Almost all the other tapes play just fine. I will include a Barry Manilow Greatest Hits Volume 4 in its place. Call 918-628-2878 ask for Tito
Queen size mattress. My husband accidently peed on it a few times after his prostate exam. $50 or trade for a mattress with no pee stains. 918-607-3471 Ask for Mary or Marvin Henderson.
For Sale – Rare Winston Churchill Porn Film. Very gay film but very interesting. This film got me kicked off of ebay but the bidding was up to $125,000. I’ll sell for $8000. Paul 303-579-0112 please be discrete. I am selling this movie out of my wife’s collection without her knowledge to finance my prostitute addiction so If a woman answers the phone, ask to speak to Dookey then hang up and call back every 20 minutes until I answer.
For sale, slightly used dentures. Must sell for dope money. No questions please. Any reasonable offer accepted. Email Telly at tellytavisjr@gmail.com
Lambskin couch and loveseat for sale. Matching set in great shape except for the spots where my neighbors peed on them. $150 firm. kdawson@yahoo.com
Wanted
I would like to buy a fat lady's used thong underwear. Bart 918-610-1295
Sex with a midget or a little person. Kyle Willis. 616-527-3827
My ex-boyfriend needs a place to stay. He is a Digambara Ascetic from India so he has only two possessions: a peacock feather broom and a water gourd. Also as a practicing Jainist Digambara, he forsakes all clothing and believes that wearing clothes is giving in to the demands of his body for comfort and private property. Hopefully there are other practicing Digmbaras out there somewhere who will get this nut job out of my apartment. He also seems to have a dislike of taking showers or doing work of any kind. This is a man who needs to be among his own people. Don’t ask me how he got to America. – Call Andrea at 917-851-0901
Does anyone have mannequin parts to sell or trade for weed? Call Judas Quimby. 818-571-9012
I would like to purchase a chastity device for my philandering husband. Darlene 905-873-9123
Beginner hit man needs clients. Will work cheap. – Tony 605-721-0926
Help Wanted
Wanted - Cowboys for homeless rodeo. Regular rodeo experience helpful but not mandatory since rodeo tricks are performed on the homeless instead of horses and cows. Candidates must be willing to travel. Send resume and salary requirements to: clem@homelessrodeo.com
Now hiring: Lettuce pickers. $50 per hour for legal citizens, $10 per hour for illegal. Martin Molson 1-800-727-2325
Help Wanted. Spark plug stuck in husband's butt. Call 918-664-2810 ask for Ursula
Elderly village needs laundry room attendant. No crank addicted trailer whores please. Vince 515-665-8101
Do you like taking long weekend fishing trip? Do you like to camp.out? Do you ever hang out a the Bass Pro Shop and dream of bass fishing? Do you dream of wealth an fame? This may be your lucky day. I am an aging pro bass fisherman and I need a young stud to be my protégé. I will teach the qualified candidate all the secrets of bass fishing and groom you to make a fortune fishing for bass like I have done. Anal sex and some sodomy maybe required. Call 405-671-BASS. Ask for Sonny.
Discredited doctors needed in third world countries and New Orleans. No Medical License or accreditations required. Minimum wage. Buddy-1 888 727 2375.
Personal Ads
Clarence, I’d really like to hook up with you and Richard. Give me a call and we'll make us a Dick sandwich. - Yolonda.
Aging millionaire seeks meaningful relationship(s) Will pay generous salary for live in lover(s)/shuffleboard partner(s). Call 757-271-6155 for interveiw. Ask for Mr. Worthington.
To whom it may concern: Last week I peed in the water cooler. You sons of bitches. - Tom.
Jim Dewey - I think you're a great guy but you have noxious B.O. You might want to see a doctor. It's probably just something in your diet. Please get help so we can start hanging out again. - Russ Wilson.
Does anyone know how to get blood and poop stains off of satin bed sheets? Please call JD 917-747-9001
I have a spark plug lodged in my rectum. If anyone has any experience with this type of thing, please send me a text 918-664-2810
To the Dawson family, I apologize for peeing on your furniture. I just had a prostate exam and my bladder is a little loose. I should be better in a few more weeks. If it’s any consolation, I peed on my sofa too and you can’t even tell. Luckily I’ve been drinking only clear liquids so at least my pee doesn’t stink. Sorry again I hope we can still be friends. -Melvin
Trudy, I lost the rent money at the casino again. I’m leaving town. Charlie.
I'd really like to know who it was that gave me a ride home from the Maverick the other night. And why my butt is so sore. And if you have my keys. Tom 212-371-7734
Do it Yourself Hemorrhoid Surgery Kit. Slightly used. Includes 10 page color instruction manual and step by step audio cassettes. $150 O.B.O. These sell for upwards of than $600 but tape 4 was eaten in my crappy tape deck so I am selling this kit for a discount. Almost all the other tapes play just fine. I will include a Barry Manilow Greatest Hits Volume 4 in its place. Call 918-628-2878 ask for Tito
Queen size mattress. My husband accidently peed on it a few times after his prostate exam. $50 or trade for a mattress with no pee stains. 918-607-3471 Ask for Mary or Marvin Henderson.
For Sale – Rare Winston Churchill Porn Film. Very gay film but very interesting. This film got me kicked off of ebay but the bidding was up to $125,000. I’ll sell for $8000. Paul 303-579-0112 please be discrete. I am selling this movie out of my wife’s collection without her knowledge to finance my prostitute addiction so If a woman answers the phone, ask to speak to Dookey then hang up and call back every 20 minutes until I answer.
For sale, slightly used dentures. Must sell for dope money. No questions please. Any reasonable offer accepted. Email Telly at tellytavisjr@gmail.com
Lambskin couch and loveseat for sale. Matching set in great shape except for the spots where my neighbors peed on them. $150 firm. kdawson@yahoo.com
Wanted
I would like to buy a fat lady's used thong underwear. Bart 918-610-1295
Sex with a midget or a little person. Kyle Willis. 616-527-3827
My ex-boyfriend needs a place to stay. He is a Digambara Ascetic from India so he has only two possessions: a peacock feather broom and a water gourd. Also as a practicing Jainist Digambara, he forsakes all clothing and believes that wearing clothes is giving in to the demands of his body for comfort and private property. Hopefully there are other practicing Digmbaras out there somewhere who will get this nut job out of my apartment. He also seems to have a dislike of taking showers or doing work of any kind. This is a man who needs to be among his own people. Don’t ask me how he got to America. – Call Andrea at 917-851-0901
Does anyone have mannequin parts to sell or trade for weed? Call Judas Quimby. 818-571-9012
I would like to purchase a chastity device for my philandering husband. Darlene 905-873-9123
Beginner hit man needs clients. Will work cheap. – Tony 605-721-0926
Help Wanted
Wanted - Cowboys for homeless rodeo. Regular rodeo experience helpful but not mandatory since rodeo tricks are performed on the homeless instead of horses and cows. Candidates must be willing to travel. Send resume and salary requirements to: clem@homelessrodeo.com
Now hiring: Lettuce pickers. $50 per hour for legal citizens, $10 per hour for illegal. Martin Molson 1-800-727-2325
Help Wanted. Spark plug stuck in husband's butt. Call 918-664-2810 ask for Ursula
Elderly village needs laundry room attendant. No crank addicted trailer whores please. Vince 515-665-8101
Do you like taking long weekend fishing trip? Do you like to camp.out? Do you ever hang out a the Bass Pro Shop and dream of bass fishing? Do you dream of wealth an fame? This may be your lucky day. I am an aging pro bass fisherman and I need a young stud to be my protégé. I will teach the qualified candidate all the secrets of bass fishing and groom you to make a fortune fishing for bass like I have done. Anal sex and some sodomy maybe required. Call 405-671-BASS. Ask for Sonny.
Discredited doctors needed in third world countries and New Orleans. No Medical License or accreditations required. Minimum wage. Buddy-1 888 727 2375.
Personal Ads
Clarence, I’d really like to hook up with you and Richard. Give me a call and we'll make us a Dick sandwich. - Yolonda.
Aging millionaire seeks meaningful relationship(s) Will pay generous salary for live in lover(s)/shuffleboard partner(s). Call 757-271-6155 for interveiw. Ask for Mr. Worthington.
To whom it may concern: Last week I peed in the water cooler. You sons of bitches. - Tom.
Jim Dewey - I think you're a great guy but you have noxious B.O. You might want to see a doctor. It's probably just something in your diet. Please get help so we can start hanging out again. - Russ Wilson.
Does anyone know how to get blood and poop stains off of satin bed sheets? Please call JD 917-747-9001
I have a spark plug lodged in my rectum. If anyone has any experience with this type of thing, please send me a text 918-664-2810
To the Dawson family, I apologize for peeing on your furniture. I just had a prostate exam and my bladder is a little loose. I should be better in a few more weeks. If it’s any consolation, I peed on my sofa too and you can’t even tell. Luckily I’ve been drinking only clear liquids so at least my pee doesn’t stink. Sorry again I hope we can still be friends. -Melvin
Trudy, I lost the rent money at the casino again. I’m leaving town. Charlie.
I'd really like to know who it was that gave me a ride home from the Maverick the other night. And why my butt is so sore. And if you have my keys. Tom 212-371-7734
